For over the past two years, I have been helping families and friends find themselves again through the chaos of loving an addict, as well as guiding the addict back to their true self through the darkness. This is done by finding solutions through working on themselves, holding firm boundaries, gaining new knowledge, and learning how to have self-compassion for the person looking back in the mirror. All change happens from within, before it can be expressed to the outside world.
I have gained this knowledge through experiencing it firsthand. I am a wife of an addict in recovery. I have felt the feelings of mourning a loved one while they were still alive. The thoughts of not knowing what else you can do to help. Feeling so utterly alone and ashamed of the situation I was in. Feeling weak, but still putting on a mask each day pretending I was happy. Holding onto the belief - there was no one out there that understood how I was feeling; and with that statement, I couldn't have been any more wrong. As I was having such feelings, so too was my husband. The feeling of being alone, not understood, shame, and mourning the person he believed he used to be. As much as we feel these raw emotions and they are indeed true to us; there is help out there and it will get better, as long as you have the willingness to reach out.
You are not alone and you are loved. You are not weak, but strong. I will tell you through my own personal experience and through second-hand knowledge of my husband’s journey; change did not begin until we stopped looking at the outside world and one other, but instead looked within ourselves through the help of others. Once we began learning new knowledge of addiction, self-compassion, boundaries, the idea of separating the addict from the true self, reaching out, and working on our own self-worth and goals – only then is when true change began to occur.
And with this new knowledge gained through my experiences, my passion grew in helping others find their way back towards the light. Recovery is possible for each and every one of us. If you're reading this and believe you are not worth redemption; I am here to tell you, YOU ARE. Addiction is a hard war to conquer alone, so don't be alone. Reach out. You can do this and you are worth it!